Saturday, August 30, 2014

Blessed beyond measure

An excerpt from my journal last Saturday night as we flew out of Montreal:

...We made it to the airport gates after weeks of planning, running around and many tearful goodbyes. Weeks like this past one certainly make me call into question our calling to Mozambique. With every tearful goodbye and heartache, I can't help but wonder whether we are truly about to step out into the greatest adventure of our lives or perhaps the biggest mistake. The other night as I lay emotionally tossing and turning in my bed after an emotional heart wrenching goodbye to one of my best fiends, I rolled over and asked Evan, "what if we hate it?" To which he responded with beauty and simplicity, "but what if we love it." It was those exact comforting words that I needed in those moments.
As we leave Ottawa we are filled with a beautiful reminder of what we have and the beauty we carry with us. Some people move away to escape or run away from something-- for us it is not so. We could never run away from Ottawa-- or rather our families, friends, students we've come to know and love, and our church which all seems to embody and capture the city that we know and love. And so with tear filled goodbyes looking back on all we know and love, we can't help but question our calling. In one emotional moment I forget the intense calling that was placed over our lives since we were young. I forget all the dreams and prophetic words. I forget my experience at Zimpeto two years ago that changed my life forever and made me homesick for Africa for the past two years. 
Yet full of doubt, confusion and emotion, the Holy Spirit never misses an opportunity to remind me of our calling and passion or to fill me with comfort and assurance with a new sign. Tonight in the Montreal airport God used a strings ensemble to speak to us. Outside of our gate a strings ensemble who was returning home to Europe broke out their instruments and sprang into song and concert. It was truly magical. Wonder peace and joy filled the terminal as we waited. Suddenly the pain of saying goodbye to our parents, brothers, sisters and best friends seemed momentarily soothed. We felt blessed beyond measure as though God had literally placed and planned that group just for us. This moment we will add to the long list of confirmations and signs regarding our journey ahead.

I think sometimes it's the transition times that are the most difficult. For weeks it feels like all we've uttered is "goodbye". Now it's finally time to say hello.

Flash forward a few days of travel:
...for the first time in about two year, I feel like I'm at home. After painful goodbyes in Ottawa, the joys of saying "hello" and hugs from my girls fill any lingering sorrow. I smile at Evan, "we're here, we're finally here." And now, with 63 smiling faces of the girls in my dorm looking towards me, I truly feel blessed beyond measure.

2 comments:

  1. We're so proud of you guys! You're both true inspirations! God bless. Be wise, be safe!

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